My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
