i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
