If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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