I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
