weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
