is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
