see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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