they need to just BURY HIM!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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