I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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