he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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