I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
