how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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