I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i think i have two assholes
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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