this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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