I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
