Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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