It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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