how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
