i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
the raccoons are back...
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