ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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