walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
