Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
