Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
