his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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