i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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