she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
