Having a random hookup so left but love u
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
