I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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