What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
