I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
