i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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