I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
