as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
