I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
