is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
