it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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