dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
