She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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