Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
