Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
