Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
