And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
