She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
