So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
