It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
