Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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