Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
