Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
