I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
