Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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